come back in the middle of the night

sorry guys for the lack of updates, i haven't found the time to update nor do i have anything to update with, my life has been pretty boring after the ball, back to the monotonous life of uni. on the plus side mid semester break is coming and sooner than that is my birthday, though i want it to be more of mellow affair shared with my closest friends, too bad that i won't actually be able to spend my actual birthday with my best friends/high school friends. i think last year was my best birthday, my friends surprised me with an ipod touch (on a side note, how weird is it that 2 new versions of ipod touches have been released in less than a year) and some yummy cake and everyone was there, i remember being so happy. i was thinking of upgrading my ipod but i have too much sentimental attachment to my ipod and its not like i need an extra awesome camera, and a brighter screen and upgraded software, no little J, you don't need that.
oh i don't actually like my next birthday, i will be turning 19 and being 19 will make me feel so old and makes me think of all the time that I've wasted and my lack of achievements, sure i'm going to uni and all, but i don't feel like i have achieved anything, nothing that will make a difference in the world.
there are so many things that i want to do but i am bounded my lack of money, commitment to school and lack of courage and fear of the unknown. i would love to go volunteering somewhere far away but i know that i will not be able to handle it, i guess i can always start small, but i can't even find time to study let alone have time to volunteer. i wish i didn't procrastinate so much. sometimes i would be in this crazy and motivated mood and make up all these plans, but sadly I never follow through. maybe when i am 19, i will be more mature and have the motivation to take direction in my life.
i would love to take a year off and go back packing and see the world, i think that would be so cool but i have no money and my parents will never let me take a year off and i doubt that dentistry at latrobe would have any student exchange programs.
i've never been overseas and i've been dreaming of going to america with my friends but we are all jobless and have no money, but i think i can always dream. i cannot wait to go to america, i can imagine all the things that i will buy and all the sights that i will see and try out my (very bad) american accent, ok, i'm lying i don't really have an american accent, there are only certain words that i can say. hmm is that a cue to watch more american tv shows, haha yeah more than i already do? yeah all i ever watch are american shows.

well thats my verbal vomit over.
you know how i've been saying that i plan on redecorating my room which i said that i will after year 12 but that never happened. but hopefully i will be able to do so by the end of the year, i already know what bed i want. its the four poster bed from ikea, i love the idea of four posters beds. i don't know why i like them so much, i think when i was younger i viewed them as playground equipment where you can swing around on them, hopefully they won't break. i just want my room to look pretty and simple. i think i'm also ready to put down my high school musical and hannah montana posters and box all my HSM and HM, yes i know shocking but of course i'm not doing this any time soon in the future so don't fear, your hsm/hm loving Jenny will not disappear on you. i just want to have a fresh start with my new room. i hoard to many useless stuff and i just a clean minimalistic room without too much clatter, something i can look at and not think "it's so messy" or "clean up your room." i think it's worth it to put a lot of energy into your room, after all i spend a majority of my time in there.
okay so this is the bed that i am planning to get. in most of the bedroom photos i've been looking at, they seem to be really into this fairy light thing, and it looks very pretty in the photos, so maybe i could try some to wrap around my bed. i think it would be an awesome alternative to actual boring lamps, though it probably won't as helpful. 

i like the wallpaper in this room, it kinda looks shiny. but i know that wallpaper is expensive so my parents probably won't let me have any. 

i only put this picture up because i am amazed at the camera collection, look at how many cameras there are!! it's crazy, i'm jealous. 

i like the dressing table in this and the door, i love how it's cut to shape and not rectangle.

oh i just loved this, so space saving and i love the stairs for some reason. it feels a double story house in your own room. 

just a feel of what my bed would look like in a room. i like the floral fabrics and wooden floors, but they are probably not comfortable to lie on. 

this is just awesome, to be a kid again...

i think this room looks so romantic, i would love this be like a hideaway for my (non-existent) husband and i, but i guess the room doesn't look too manly. 

ok so they're all very pretty girly kinds of rooms, i think mine will be more simple, and i want heaps of photos in my rooms too because they make me happy. 

Love Squealer.

All photos are from tumblr, i know that is not proper crediting but if any of these photos are yours and you want them credited let me know.