This isn't going to be a soundwave post. i just need to vent.
I just got back to bendigo about an hour ago, as soon as my parents left, i went into my room, took out and my laptop and went on tumblr. Then suddenly, i had a rush of all these negative feelings and just started to cry. So there i was, quite pathetic, by myself in my room and crying. Usually i'm quite a positive person and try to drown all the negative energy but i couldn't help it. I think it was also due to post concert depression, how i will never be able to relive those memories again, and my future just looks so bleak at the moment. Whenever i do have a tendency to cry, i'm usually able to stop myself, but this time i just let it all out. I miss all the bands, i miss the feeling i have when i see them in person and performing. So i started to think about that and led to thoughts about my future and whether or not i will be able to succeed, i am more determined than ever but after so much rejection it's hard to go on as if it didn't happen.
I don't know how i am going to get over this phase, because i've been through it before and the only thing that kept me going was my friends, and here in bendigo, i'm not quite at that stage with anyone, maybe except Y but we don't have the same classes. To make it worse, i keep visiting Monash which is constant reminder of how much fun it is to be around friends. Don't you hate those situations when you're happy but sad at the same time? it does suck.
Love Squealer.
3 comments:
I'm glad I'm not the only one going through this, I mean I'm not happy that you're upset but it reassures me that I'm not being silly about this whole thing. I wish I could give you advice to make you feel better but you know if I had any I would be trying to follow it. I do hope that you get used to Bendigo soon and that you start to feel better
Naww! :( That's no good. I hope my little dedication doesn't have anything to do with why you're feeling like this.
Put it this way - that letter's just to let you know that you shouldn't think of it as losing friends - you're just putting us away for a little bit and finding some new ones, and we're not going anywhere, okay? Still here if you need us!
PS. Prank me if you feel like a chat, yeah?
The more you try the closer you'll get to your end goal, don't let ANYTHING throw you off. <3
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